Jb's body

Twice this week I have dreamt about Jeremy Bentham's body at UCL
I like to think he is kept in a cupboard in a corridor, and he kind of falls out when people go into the cupboard to get their whitecoats and googles out. This isn't the case

You note none of this actually involves writing jokes

The main things I have done today:

1. Worried about not writing anything this week
I have been rushing around and am shattered is my excuse. This week included job interview/meeting up with an American/seeing the boy of talent's solo show/ and advertising agency work of long hours, and so on, but still....

2.Bought food and pretended I am successful writer in my head
Went to the co-op and went home via the new café/deli round the corner, Cupboard. It has free wifi, sells organic and fair trade things like bread, free range eggs, elderflower cordial and quinoa, (my pulse of choice at present). They play nice jolly old lady music - Ella, Cole Porter and so on. Freshly squeezed orange juice, good coffee, buns. I think I could go there on my fridays and write hilarious jokes, and befriend the waitresses and be a bit like JK Rowling (without the single parenthood and satanism.) In reality, I will go there and drink the coffee, look at silly craft things on the internet and come home and feel guilty about not writing anything of use....Anyway I bought lots of things from them today, so that they don’t close down before I get chance to live out my facade. I am now cash poor, but grain rich.

3. I successfully wore my corduroy dress over my smart trousers
Adding to my successful writer fantasy - i.e. I will only wear kooky but cute, obscure danish clothing, that is both stylish and warm.

4. League of Gentlemen
Watched 3 episodes and then rewatched them with the voice over commentary.
I was worried to find a scene where Mickey burns his mouth on an apple pie – this was in 2000 though, so maybe we have enough space to do a similar joke 8 years later.

5. Listened again to a bunch of stuff (in front of computer with a blank "word" document open...)
Item on Woman’s Hour about the fact French and Saunders are on their farewell tour, are there any female double acts to replace them? Don Ward from the Comedy Store was really rather middle aged man, producer about it, answering this question triumphantly saying, "Well you've heard of Mel and Sue? They split up." His chief reason for lack of women in comedy was it is very bloke-ish and so if a female act was on a bill of 4 male acts, the male-dominated atmosphere would make them feel lonely. (Eh? He had rather lost the thread of the discussion being about double-acts. The beauty of a double act is that there are two of you, you instantly solve the loneliness thing by showing up together.) He said that there is only one double act, (Chambers and Nettleton )that were commercially good enough to book. Jan Raven name checked Watson and Oliver, Two-Left Hands, and Penny Spubbs, and said the most sensible thing of the discussion - in the end it doesn't matter what your gender is, the material has got to be good.....

in which case I need to stop writing this and write something good....